My goal for the next year is to do more personal photography work. I started a project last year and it may continue, revolving around family artifacts, but I need something closer to home than family history will give me.
This series of four photos is called “Survival.” Jared came up with the name. It’s about the fact that motherhood has been such a kick in the pants for me. I love my boys, all three of them, no doubt. But before the boys came along, I had no idea what it took to be a mom or for that matter, what it took out of a person to be a part of a big family. Or at least, I should say, it takes quite a bit out of me to be a mom and to be part of what is now a relatively large family. As an only child who grew up in a quiet household, this boisterous house of boys is a lot to take in sometimes.
So anyway, these photos were all taken tonight, in our living room.
I like the color photos, but the black and white ones here stand out to me because of their subject matter. The last photo shows what an effort it takes to deal with the holidays, which is why the Christmas stuff still fits into the theme of the photos.
I want to write more about my photography. There are stories to tell, but I am terrified to tell them primarily because all my stories aren’t happy, shiny, beautiful stories. Many of my stories are dark, dreary, and terrifying. I’m in a better place, but the sad things still come to the surface when I allow art to drift naturally. I think it’s something I just have to work out.
Survival hasn’t been easy the past few years….first because I didn’t trust my own mind, then because I felt like I should pin myself into his neat little label of mommy that I just don’t fit into, and now partly because of physical health issues that keep my energy levels down. The result is a disgustingly messy household. That’s what this series will represent. There are more photos, but I feel like many of them were rushed and I want to be more thoughtful than the project and draw it out over time.
By the way….Oliver is constantly removing that sock he has his hand on, there in that photo above. For now, he can’t take off shoes, so it’s fine when we’re out and about. But at home or whenever he doesn’t have his shoes on, all bets are off….that sock is coming off.
That’s what I have for today.